What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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