What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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