What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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