What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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