What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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