What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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