What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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