What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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