What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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