What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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