What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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