What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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