What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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