What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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