What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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