What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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