What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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