What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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