What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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