What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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