What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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