What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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