What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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