What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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