What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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