What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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