What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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