What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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