What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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