What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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