What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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