What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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