What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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