What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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