What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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