What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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