What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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