What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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