What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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