What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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