What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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