What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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