What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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