What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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