What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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