What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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