What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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