What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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