What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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