What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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