What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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