What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.

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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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