What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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