What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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