What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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