What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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