What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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