What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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