What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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A seal walks into a club...
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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