What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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