What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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