What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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