What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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