What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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