What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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