What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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