What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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