What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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