What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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