What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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