What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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