What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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