What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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