What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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