What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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