What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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