What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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