What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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