What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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