What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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