What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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