What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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