What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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