What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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