What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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