What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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