What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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