What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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