What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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