What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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