What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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