What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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