What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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