What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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