What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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