What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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