What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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