What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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