What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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