What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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