What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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