What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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