What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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