What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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