What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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