What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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