What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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