What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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