What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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