What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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