What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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