What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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