What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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