What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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