What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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