What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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