What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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