What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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