What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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