What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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