What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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