What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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