What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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