What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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