What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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