What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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