What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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