What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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