What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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