What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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