What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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