What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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