What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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