What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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