What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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