What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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