What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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