What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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