What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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