What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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