What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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