What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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