What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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