What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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