What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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