What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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