What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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