What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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