What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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