What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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