What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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