What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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