What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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