What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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