What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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