What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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