What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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