What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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