What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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