What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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