What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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