What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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