What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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