What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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