What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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