What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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