What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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