What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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