What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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