What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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