What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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