What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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