What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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