What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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