What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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