What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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