What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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