What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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