What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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