What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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