What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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