What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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