What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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