What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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