What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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