What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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