What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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